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IN THE BRINK OF AN UNEXPECTED NOSTALGIA.
Thursday, August 5, 2010/ 11:45 AM

I said I was gonna update a few days ago. I forgot I had to study for a Long Exam in Soc Sci 1. How could a student possibly forget about EXAMS?! LAAAAME.. We had it today. I'm glad It was not THAT HARD.. I am gonna pass it.. I am an optimist..

I am starting to really really miss home. I've been really really NOSTALGIC lately. I don't know what to do. It's Mom's birthday on the 10th and Oppa's on the 25th. I never ever wanted to miss any of their birthdays. I was planning to go home. Again, a battle between my good and the good of others. I hate it when this happens. I can't go home . I can't celebrate one of the most important person in my life's birthday with the rest of my family. Simply because, I choose not to. I am really really sorry, Mom. I really miss you. Sportsfest is really really near and I have to prepare for it. Who'd ever wanna get embarrassed in front of a cheering crowd? I'll be going home the next week instead. I'll kill myself if I don't find a way. I'll pay a hundred pesos for not attending Cheering Practice. I don't care. My family is a lot more important than a hundred peso fine.

Even my roommates are staring to find it really really weird that I'm slowly becoming uncheerful for the past few days. Even I find it really weird too. I know they understand well. I just really really feel bad right now. I AM SERIOUSLY MISSING A LOT OF HOME. I heard that my two little brothers caught fever and had been absent from their classes for a whole week now. IT'S REALLY BUGGING ME A LOT. I've always been that kind of older sister. You know? The are-you-okay-now kind of older sister; the don't-do-this-don't-do-that kind of sister; and most especially, the I-REALLY-LOVE-YOU kind of older sister. I'm not used to being away from home when everything there is not ok. I really hate that feeling. I just hate this feeling right now. It's like, Look at me now, blogging while my little bro's are suffering from a fever, and while Mom badly needs my help. Look at me blogging, when I could use this time looking after them. IF ONLY. IF ONLY I WAS HOME. Though Mom told me that they were okay and that they have hired a new maid back home, I still can't help feeling uneasy. AN OLDER SISTER IS WAAAY DIFFERENT FROM A MAID. I just really miss the feeling of being around them. I just really really miss them a lot right now.

Just earlier, Lexi and Geli were talking about how fast time was passing. Just days ago, we didn't even know each other; we didn't even dare talk to each other. But now? Late-night bull sessions, Wee hours Food-tripping, Room-hopping, Crazy Breaking-the-rules-just-for-fun experiences. What else?

I am sixteen, others are seventeen. We have three or so more years to go before we become part of the people in their TWENTIES. TWENTIES, man. TWENTIES. THAT'S AN UNBELIEVABLY BIG NUMBER for these stubborn children right here. RIGHT NOW, ONE THING'S FOR SURE -- I AM NOT READY YET.

I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHY I AM HERE, IN THIS VERY PART OF THE WORLD, RIGHT NOW, MISSING EVERY LITTLE BIT OF HOME.. IT PARTLY MAKES SENSE NOW--WHY OF ALL THE SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD, HERE IN MIAMI (MIAG-AO) ?

MAYBE SO I WOULD KNOW THE SIGNIFICANCE OF HOME;
SO I WOULD KNOW MY FAMILY'S WORTH;
AND SO I WOULD KNOW HOW IT FELT LIKE MISSING A PART OF YOUR LIFE.

(L-R) Kuya Nix, Dale, Papa, Mama, RJ, Kuya John ; (ABOVE) Alecx, ME.


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