IN THE BRINK OF AN UNEXPECTED NOSTALGIA.
I said I was gonna update a few days ago. I forgot I had to study for a Long Exam in Soc Sci 1. How could a student possibly forget about EXAMS?! LAAAAME.. We had it today. I'm glad It was not THAT HARD.. I am gonna pass it.. I am an optimist..
I am starting to really really miss home
I've been really really NOSTALGIC
lately. I don't know what to do. It's Mom's birthday on the 10th
and Oppa's on the 25th
. I never ever wanted to miss any of their birthdays. I was planning to go home. Again, a battle between my good and the good of others. I hate it when this happens
. I can't go home .
I can't celebrate one of the most important person in my life's birthday with the rest of my family. Simply because, I choose not to. I am really really sorry, Mom.
I really miss you. Sportsfest is really really near and I have to prepare for it. Who'd ever wanna get embarrassed in front of a cheering crowd? I'll be going home the next week instead. I'll kill myself if I don't find a way. I'll pay a hundred pesos for not attending Cheering Practice. I don't care. My family is a lot more important than a hundred peso fine.
Even my roommates are staring to find it really really weird that I'm slowly becoming uncheerful for the past few days. Even I find it really weird too. I know they understand well. I just really really feel bad right now. I AM SERIOUSLY MISSING A LOT OF HOME.
I heard that my two little brothers caught fever and had been absent from their classes for a whole week now. IT'S REALLY BUGGING ME A LOT.
I've always been that kind of older sister. You know? The are-you-okay-now kind of older sister
; the don't-do-this-don't-do-that kind of sister
; and most especially, the I-REALLY-LOVE-YOU kind of older sister
. I'm not used to being away from home when everything there is not ok. I really hate that feeling. I just hate this feeling right now.
It's like, Look at me now, blogging while my little bro's are suffering from a fever, and while Mom badly needs my help
. Look at me blogging, when I could use this time looking after them. IF ONLY
. IF ONLY I WAS HOME
Though Mom told me that they were okay and that they have hired a new maid back home, I still can't help feeling uneasy. AN OLDER SISTER IS WAAAY DIFFERENT FROM A MAID.
I just really miss the feeling of being around them. I just really really miss them a lot right now.
Just earlier, Lexi and Geli were talking about how fast time was passing. Just days ago, we didn't even know each other; we didn't even dare talk to each other. But now? Late-night bull sessions
, Wee hours Food-tripping
, Room-hopping, Crazy Breaking-the-rules-just-for-fun experiences
. What else?
I am sixteen
, others are seventeen. We have three or so more years to go before we become part of the people in their TWENTIES. TWENTIES
, man. TWENTIES. THAT'S AN UNBELIEVABLY BIG NUMBER for these stubborn children right here.
RIGHT NOW, ONE THING'S FOR SURE -- I AM NOT READY YET.
I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHY I AM HERE, IN THIS VERY PART OF THE WORLD, RIGHT NOW, MISSING EVERY LITTLE BIT OF HOME.. IT PARTLY MAKES SENSE NOW--WHY OF ALL THE SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD, HERE IN MIAMI (MIAG-AO) ?
MAYBE SO I WOULD KNOW THE SIGNIFICANCE OF HOME;
SO I WOULD KNOW MY FAMILY'S WORTH;
AND SO I WOULD KNOW HOW IT FELT LIKE MISSING A PART OF YOUR LIFE.
|(L-R) Kuya Nix, Dale, Papa, Mama, RJ, Kuya John ; (ABOVE) Alecx, ME.|