Identity Crisis?
Monday, October 18, 2010/ 5:56 PM

"What we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. And they have changed since then... At every meeting, we are meeting A STRANGER.."
-T.S Elliot, The Cocktail Party

I don't know what on hearth has gotten into me. I feel like throwing up whenever I think about the upcoming little highschool reunion on the 22nd.

I feel so uneasy everytime the thought of getting to be with my highschool fellas again comes into my mind. I have to figure all these as soon as possible. Hafta find a freakin’ way out of this feeling.

The thing is, I know how everybody else may be feeling so hyped up and excited about the reunion right now. I’m talking about the not-so-unfamiliar can’t-wait-til-that-day-comes feeling, or the, oh-my-gosh-I’m-seeing-them-after-decaades-of-not-being-able-to-see-them excitement. But me? I just feel excited AND SCARED (but more of scared) at the same time. I don’t know why. And this time, I mean it. I really don't know why.

Maybe it’s because of the time we’ve been apart. Changes, to be less ambiguous. Maybe because of the changes we’ve all gone through while we were away from each other. I’ve always been scared of changes and accepting them; scared of people accusing me of having changed so much. I must admit, I don’t know how to act around them anymore, or maybe even forgot the feeling of being around and with them anymore. Eitherway, these changes will never change the fact that I’ve been missing them so much and that I badly want to see them. It’s really just that, I don’t know how to act around them anymore. I don’t even remember how it feels like walking inside our highschool school campus anymore. I just sigh over this feeling that some things might slightly be different. Though not totally, but still, different from what used to.

On second and a totally different thought, I never imagined I’d miss Miami people this much. I just have to say, that I miss everything about Miami right now: dormmates, coursemates, classmates, blockmates, seatmates, roommates, and all the other ‘mates’ anyone could ever imagine.
I’m missing how dormitory staff would knock at not-so-exactly 10 in the evening and scream-slash-whisper “ROOOOMCHEEECCCK!” and never stop unless someone opens the door for them. I miss answering “Yep, we’re all here.” Even when we’re not, just to save all of us from being scolded by the dormitory head. Sometimes, lying is not that bad – one of the gazillion things I learned in my current journey to independence. I miss breaking rules; even the unbreakable ones, the ones I never thought I could break.

Hope to see you soon, Miami folks. Hope you’re missing me this much too; Be fair, Neanderthal Miami fellas, BE FAIR.

I'd be skipping the 30 day challenge just this once. I need to go now. Just wanted to spill that one thing that's been making me uneasy eversince I got reminded about the reunion. Seeya around.

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